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So, just got diagnosed with diverticulitis. This explains the intense pain I've been suffering through for the last few years off and on, which would flare up, then fade away on its own after a day or two. I always attributed it to my IBS, which is apparently VERY common. Finally went to a physician about it yesterday when it left me barely able to walk at work. So now I'm on a stupid-high amount of antibiotics, and can't have solid food at least until tomorrow without risking a good deal of pain. I broke down last night and had some pizza, the only thing in the house, and immediately regretted it. Spent all day today sleeping and staying in bed, finally got up about 7pm to eat some jell-o and drink some water. Right now, as long as I'm sitting, the pain is tolerable. Unfortunately, since it's stomach pain, there's little I can take without making it even WORSE. -.-;
Where I've been
I'm sorry I haven't been around a lot, lately. I haven't been feeling very artistic. My father died in May, from COVID-19 complications. He had a heart attack. I hadn't seen or heard from him since the summer of 1996. It's been 24 years. Sometimes I've considered reaching out to him, to try and repair our relationship or build a new one, but every time I decided I'd rather he not know where I was, or who I was. They listed me on his obituary under my deadname. They got my brother's name wrong. I know in his own way that my father loved my brother and I, and even my mother still, very much. You don't stop loving someone just because they're not in your life anymore. But I also know that drugs and alcohol mattered more to him than we did. I know that he lied to me, again and again, and hurt me more times than I care to count, and I finally ran out of chances for him. A part of me will always love my father in the heartachingly pure way only a small child can. But I am not a child. I
Frustration
Experiencing another big bout of writer’s AND artist’s block. I’ve got hundreds of ideas to get done but they’re all screaming at once and then when I sit down to work... nothing.
I know you can’t force creativity. It either happens or it doesn’t. But I’m frustrated and I want to do another short story with illustration series and have NO ideas with where to go for it that actually seem feasible.
It doesn’t help that I’m feeling very weak and tired all the time. Had an appointment with the cardiologist yesterday and was basically told ‘we see something is wrong but it’s not w
Emergency Appendectomy
Hey loves, need to apologize for being gone for a bit. I've had a real energy slump and it's effected my art output and everything going on in my life, and compounding that?
Starting on Sunday night, I began to feel really tender and, bluntly, gassy. I noticed I'd not been able to use the restroom as regularly as I normally do, and by Monday, it had turned into a serious pain right below my ribcage that was making breathing in any position but laying on my side quite painful.
Against my roommate's urgings, I ignored it until early Wednesday morning, when he rushed me in to the ER. Within an hour or so, the examination concluded I had a mas
New Medication and Life Updates
So as I've mentioned before, I've spent the last few years struggling with a strange set of symptoms including random bouts of dizziness and weakness, migraines, major abdominal pain, etc. A few weeks ago, my insurance forced me to go through some physical therapy to see if they could correct the dizziness issue at least. They discovered that it isn't related to my inner ear, at all, and is more likely related to all the other symptoms because we've been tackling them as individual issues, not as something caused by a singular problem:
Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.
One of the diagnostic tests we ran involved monitoring my blood
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